The importance of thoughtfulness

One compliment I like to receive is when someone tells me I'm thoughtful. Why you may ask? Well, because this one little word is jam packed with meaning.The idea of being thoughtful is by being able to be perceptive with the people you are close to and act on it. For example, it is thoughtful of someone to perceive that you are having a bad day and giving you a little pick me up such as a nice card or your favorite candy bar to make you feel better.

So how can you become more thoughtful to the people who are in your life?

First pay attention when people are talking to you. Actively listen to the conversations you are having because it is the best way to learn small things about people such as their favorite things or types of activities as well as things that they may hate. It is easy to remember if your best friend hates seafood if the first time you throw out a seafood restaurant as a meal option they say they hate it. Log that into important things to remember for the future so that if you are out with other people who suggest it you can politely let them know your best friend hates seafood so another restaurant will need to be chosen.

Paying attention is more than just about food preference too. If you pay attention to how people talk about certain other people or places just by the way they inflect their words and their facial expressions you can start to see how they feel about those things. This is important because you can gauge a situation and mood of this person in the future to be able to know if they may need a pick me up or if they are uncomfortable in a given situation.

Now that you have logged in a few important facts it is also a good idea to write it down somewhere. I am a fan of journals so I have one specifically for this to make sure that I don't forget the little things which can make someones day if you show them you remember. I have things such as important dates and some of their favorite and least favorite things. Having a lot of friends this can be challenging stuff to remember that is why I find this helpful. For important dates I also have them saved in my phone with reminders so that when the date is coming up I remember and can plan accordingly.

So after you know these things what can you do with the information? Well, it depends on how well you know them and also the type of relationship you have with them and the type of person you are. For me, I know that things such as little 'pick me up' gifts or cards with a sweet message will always be the things to cheer me up or make my day however one of my friends may like being given a cupcake in their favorite flavor or being brought their favorite Starbucks drink when they are at work or just a text letting them know you care. It is important to know what things work for what people.

Just a small gesture goes a long way to most people and being thoughtful is something that I feel more people need to understand. It doesn't take a big gesture to show someone you care or that you are thinking of them. It really is as easy as getting a card and writing a note or remembering their favorite chocolate is mint chocolate and picking them up a little bar to give to them. Being thoughtful is just that, taking the time to think about how you could make someone else's day by putting them first. I always feel the best about myself when I do something for someone else and it is an easy way to pay it forward to your friends and show them that you not only pay attention to them and their lives but you also care about them and your relationship with them.

I challenge you to try and think of a thoughtful gesture for someone you know who may be having a tough week or day.

What is a small gesture that would make you smile if you were having a bad day? Let me know in the comments!

xoxo Jess

Where's the coffee?

I am NOT a morning person. By any stretch of the word. I would much rather stay awake until 3 a.m. to accomplish everything I need to than wake up at even 9 a.m. every day. I think we have all felt that before in our lives and especially those of you who can relate to not being a morning person. However, recently I have challenged myself to wake up earlier and try to become more of a morning person.

The key to this for me was my mindset. In the past when my alarm has gone off in the morning I have grumbled and hit the snooze button five times before dragging myself out of bed. This would subsequently cause a chain of reactions of 1. me waking up later than I wanted and thus in a rush 2. no time to be able to relax and fully wake up 3. stressed out about no time to properly go through my morning routine and 4. just have general stress about starting the day.

This nasty habit developed when I started college because I didn't have early classes so I fell into this stay up late and sleep until the last possible moment routine. In my experience it has not been a very productive or enjoyable routine to have. 

So how have I began my journey to try and turn this around? By simply giving myself a chance to be a morning person. I don't know that I will ever be as productive in the morning as I am at night however I do think that I can change the way I begin my days. 

The first step in doing this is waking up with a positive mind. When my alarm goes off I am trying to say one thing that I am excited for that day instead of grumbling about having to wake up at whatever God-awful hour it may be. For example if I have plans for the day I think about those plans and how excited I am about them.

The second step is to just get moving. I have read countless articles online that stress getting out of bed after your first alarm goes off because snoozing your alarm makes you more tired. To do this I just reason with myself. You all know you have those talks with yourself in the mornings that go a little like "You know you can totally lay here for 10 more minutes you know it is going to make you feel great" and then 10 minutes goes by and you feel like its only been 30 seconds. I have started telling myself the truth that 10 extra minutes laying here is not going to make me want to get out of bed more or feel more awake. 

The third step is to have a routine. I know this should probably be the first step for most people but for me just getting out of the bed on time and without snoozing deserves an Olympic gold metal. I think it is important to know how long you take to do things without rushing yourself. This is where your routine will come in handy. For instance, I know that I want to take my shower first before I do anything else because a warm shower helps me wake up my body and mind more and gives me time while in the shower to focus on becoming more alert. My routine in the mornings is normally a 8ish minute shower (depending on how long it takes me to wake up), 15 minutes to dry and style my hair, 15-20 minutes to do my makeup and get dressed, and I like to give myself at least 30 minutes to be able to eat breakfast and relax before I have to head out the door.

These little steps have helped me in just the little amount of time I have implemented them and it has helped me become a more joyful person in the mornings. I may still be grumpy when I wake up but by the time I need to leave my house I am excited for the day ahead, I'm in a relaxed mood because I didn't have to rush to get ready, and I am ready to tackle the day!

I hope these little tips can help those of you who may also not be morning people to at least start your day off on a better foot even if you still give side eye to those perky morning people!

Let me know if there is anything you do to help you be positive in the mornings!

xoxo Jess

It's the little things

So I have had the worst few weeks due to stress of life and just me letting those little things get me down. It is amazing how easy it is for us to go down that deep hole of 'woe is me' and 'I'm never going to get out of this situation', etc. I have had about a two week long pity party for myself in this regard because it has just seemed that everything that could go wrong has. I won't go into detail about it but just know that if you are having one of those times, it happens to everyone.

I feel like a lot of people have moments like this and when you are in that particular moment you feel as if you are the only one in the world to be having these issues and to be suffering along while the rest of the world is seemingly care free. It happens to the best of us, me included.

There are some things in these times however that stand out to me. Little things that happen that seem to make the bad that is going on seem less bad. That is what I want to share with you all. My little things of happiness that sometimes get forgotten but when I need them most, on a bad day/week, they seem to appear out of nowhere.

The first thing is something that probably sounds silly but to me, it is something I love. Stationary. I LOVE stationary. I say this because I love going to TJ Maxx and buying the cute sets of cards for super cheap. The reason I love doing this is because I love writing encouraging letters to other people. I feel like when I am sad this helps me feel better the most. When I sit down and can tell someone just how special they are to me, or can write to them and just give them a little note to say thank you, or to say I love you, it always brightens my mood too. I have so many different kinds of little cards and being able to give those to someone who may also be having one of those horribly bad days or weeks makes me feel better. I am a firm believer that you get back what you put out in the world and I always want to try and put out positive thoughts and actions. Those little cards give me hope when I am in a dark hole of self pity because they make me realize that I may not be the only one silently going through a tough time.

The second thing is receiving little cards. Recently I have been receiving little 'happys' as my friends and I like to call them and they seem to come at just the right time. They are just like the ones I often like to write and sometimes just have a few encouraging words, or have a simple ' just want you to know I love you.' I believe that I have surrounded myself with people who are a lot like me and who care for others just as much as I do so being able to also receive these little cards of encouragement or reminders of care it really brightens my day and makes me realize that I have a lot of people in my life who care for me the way I care for them.

These little things may seem silly or insignificant but trust me, they are little happy mood boosters. I encourage you if you have any little cards laying around the house to think of someone who may have not had a good day or who seems to be a little down and write them a little 'happy' to give to them. It is amazing how such a small act of kindness can make the biggest impact. I feel that these little things throughout life, whether it be a little card, or a hug, or just a text saying 'just want you to know how special you are to me' can change even the saddest/sour mood into a smile.

I know I am going to try to be more aware of those around me now that I have been having such a tough time because I want to make sure that if someone else is too that they see they are not alone and that they have someone who values them in their life.

What is a little thing that brightens your day or makes you happy when you are sad? I would love to hear from you!

xoxo Jess