Friday, July 3, 2015

The importance of thoughtfulness

One compliment I like to receive is when someone tells me I'm thoughtful. Why you may ask? Well, because this one little word is jam packed with meaning.The idea of being thoughtful is by being able to be perceptive with the people you are close to and act on it. For example, it is thoughtful of someone to perceive that you are having a bad day and giving you a little pick me up such as a nice card or your favorite candy bar to make you feel better.

So how can you become more thoughtful to the people who are in your life?

First pay attention when people are talking to you. Actively listen to the conversations you are having because it is the best way to learn small things about people such as their favorite things or types of activities as well as things that they may hate. It is easy to remember if your best friend hates seafood if the first time you throw out a seafood restaurant as a meal option they say they hate it. Log that into important things to remember for the future so that if you are out with other people who suggest it you can politely let them know your best friend hates seafood so another restaurant will need to be chosen.

Paying attention is more than just about food preference too. If you pay attention to how people talk about certain other people or places just by the way they inflect their words and their facial expressions you can start to see how they feel about those things. This is important because you can gauge a situation and mood of this person in the future to be able to know if they may need a pick me up or if they are uncomfortable in a given situation.

Now that you have logged in a few important facts it is also a good idea to write it down somewhere. I am a fan of journals so I have one specifically for this to make sure that I don't forget the little things which can make someones day if you show them you remember. I have things such as important dates and some of their favorite and least favorite things. Having a lot of friends this can be challenging stuff to remember that is why I find this helpful. For important dates I also have them saved in my phone with reminders so that when the date is coming up I remember and can plan accordingly.

So after you know these things what can you do with the information? Well, it depends on how well you know them and also the type of relationship you have with them and the type of person you are. For me, I know that things such as little 'pick me up' gifts or cards with a sweet message will always be the things to cheer me up or make my day however one of my friends may like being given a cupcake in their favorite flavor or being brought their favorite Starbucks drink when they are at work or just a text letting them know you care. It is important to know what things work for what people.

Just a small gesture goes a long way to most people and being thoughtful is something that I feel more people need to understand. It doesn't take a big gesture to show someone you care or that you are thinking of them. It really is as easy as getting a card and writing a note or remembering their favorite chocolate is mint chocolate and picking them up a little bar to give to them. Being thoughtful is just that, taking the time to think about how you could make someone else's day by putting them first. I always feel the best about myself when I do something for someone else and it is an easy way to pay it forward to your friends and show them that you not only pay attention to them and their lives but you also care about them and your relationship with them.

I challenge you to try and think of a thoughtful gesture for someone you know who may be having a tough week or day.

What is a small gesture that would make you smile if you were having a bad day? Let me know in the comments!

xoxo Jess


  1. I love this post so much, because it's so true. I try to do the exact same thing. I have an issue with remembering everything sometimes so it does get hard, but actively trying to commit it to memory helps. I don't know if I'd go as far as journaling it though - I think I'd feel like that creepy jewish woman logging Alex's moves in OITNB. D:

  2. OH! I was also going to say, something crazy cheap (aka free) to do is when you see something amusing online (a tumblr post/video) that you think someone might enjoy and send it to them with a little message of why you're doing it. Sometimes I'll save posts to my camera roll or put them in my "likes" to use at a later date when I know a friend could use it. To me, it shows that while you were looking at the post/video it make you connect to that person and want to share it with them to improve their day.