Things you should know if you are friends with an emotional person

I thought I would write a post from the perspective of someone who is an emotional person. This coming from one of the most emotional people (me). If you know someone who is an emotional person and you yourself are not one then it may be difficult for you to understand why we are the way we are. I know from personal experience with people in my life who are not as driven by their emotions that they don't really understand how my emotions pretty much direct my life. So today I thought I would give some insight into the mind of an emotional person.

I wanted to write this because I just finished watching Thumbelina, one of my favorite childhood movies, and I was so emotional that I cried at the end of it for a good solid 5 minutes. I have always been this way as far as I can remember. My emotions are very strong and when I feel something I feel it deeply which brings me to my first point.

Emotional people wear their emotions on their sleeves.
This may seem very obvious but it is a very important thing to remember if you know someone who is an emotional person. Whenever I am sad I can feel it in my bones, and the same goes for happiness, love, worry, fear, etc. When you are someone who has a high emotional state you exude those emotions. Being a naturally emotional person I feel it is why so many people are drawn to me in either a work or school environment or in a social environment. When I am feeling any emotion I feel that those around me can easily pick up on whatever it is and it makes it easier for people to understand or gauge how I will respond to them.

Emotional people are also more emotionally reactive to those around them.
When your friend is telling you about a horrible break up they have had or just pouring their guts out to you you feel those emotions with them. You have sympathy for that friend because you feel those emotions with them. There is also a flip side to this. If something happens and it could have a negative outcome, you feel very emotional about that as well. I, for one, know that when I have been put in bad situations with friends such as fights or disagreements I will go home and cry my eyes out because I am upset about being at odds with a friend. When you are an emotional person things like that rock your boat and can cause you to feel very strongly about the discord in your life.

Being nonchalant about an emotional persons feelings is something to avoid.
I know that as someone who may not be an extremely emotional person it may be annoying at times or you may feel that the emotional person is overreacting but what you have to remember is that the reaction they are giving is due to the fact that they feel so deeply (see the first point). I have had friends who are not very outwardly emotional like myself and they would roll their eyes at me getting my feelings hurt over something or wouldn't understand why I was crying about something but I can tell you as someone who is an emotional person that is not the way to handle it. I understand that people can't ever see eye to eye on everything but advice from someone who is an emotional person is to be understanding. Even if you don't get why I'm upset or you think it is something trivial, by making that opinion known it is making it worse for my emotional state. The best thing to do is to acknowledge the emotional break down and to then help them to move on to thinking about something else.

The final point I have is that not all emotional people are easy to see.
Because of the fact that showing emotions is looked down on in a lot of social and professional situations you may be friends with someone who is an emotional person and not know it because they are good at hiding their emotions. This point is really valid for anyone you have in your life but it is this: empathy. Whenever you meet someone you never know what may be going on with them in their personal life that they may not share with you (even if you are very best friends). I know that when I am having a very sad day I don't always want to share that with my friends because of the fear of either being judged or not being understood. Just remember to always try and be empathetic to those around you. Think of a time you were having a bad day and try and remember that someone else could be having that bad day too.

It is important to understand highly emotional people and to know that we may cry at any remotely sad or happy part of a book, movie, life event, etc. That is how we are built. Emotional people can feel emotions highly which also means they can love deeper and have a bigger emotional attachment to the people in their lives, including you.

Do you think you are an emotional person? What is something else that you think people should know about an emotional person? Let me know in the comments!

xoxo Jess

The importance of thoughtfulness

One compliment I like to receive is when someone tells me I'm thoughtful. Why you may ask? Well, because this one little word is jam packed with meaning.The idea of being thoughtful is by being able to be perceptive with the people you are close to and act on it. For example, it is thoughtful of someone to perceive that you are having a bad day and giving you a little pick me up such as a nice card or your favorite candy bar to make you feel better.

So how can you become more thoughtful to the people who are in your life?

First pay attention when people are talking to you. Actively listen to the conversations you are having because it is the best way to learn small things about people such as their favorite things or types of activities as well as things that they may hate. It is easy to remember if your best friend hates seafood if the first time you throw out a seafood restaurant as a meal option they say they hate it. Log that into important things to remember for the future so that if you are out with other people who suggest it you can politely let them know your best friend hates seafood so another restaurant will need to be chosen.

Paying attention is more than just about food preference too. If you pay attention to how people talk about certain other people or places just by the way they inflect their words and their facial expressions you can start to see how they feel about those things. This is important because you can gauge a situation and mood of this person in the future to be able to know if they may need a pick me up or if they are uncomfortable in a given situation.

Now that you have logged in a few important facts it is also a good idea to write it down somewhere. I am a fan of journals so I have one specifically for this to make sure that I don't forget the little things which can make someones day if you show them you remember. I have things such as important dates and some of their favorite and least favorite things. Having a lot of friends this can be challenging stuff to remember that is why I find this helpful. For important dates I also have them saved in my phone with reminders so that when the date is coming up I remember and can plan accordingly.

So after you know these things what can you do with the information? Well, it depends on how well you know them and also the type of relationship you have with them and the type of person you are. For me, I know that things such as little 'pick me up' gifts or cards with a sweet message will always be the things to cheer me up or make my day however one of my friends may like being given a cupcake in their favorite flavor or being brought their favorite Starbucks drink when they are at work or just a text letting them know you care. It is important to know what things work for what people.

Just a small gesture goes a long way to most people and being thoughtful is something that I feel more people need to understand. It doesn't take a big gesture to show someone you care or that you are thinking of them. It really is as easy as getting a card and writing a note or remembering their favorite chocolate is mint chocolate and picking them up a little bar to give to them. Being thoughtful is just that, taking the time to think about how you could make someone else's day by putting them first. I always feel the best about myself when I do something for someone else and it is an easy way to pay it forward to your friends and show them that you not only pay attention to them and their lives but you also care about them and your relationship with them.

I challenge you to try and think of a thoughtful gesture for someone you know who may be having a tough week or day.

What is a small gesture that would make you smile if you were having a bad day? Let me know in the comments!

xoxo Jess

Where's the coffee?

I am NOT a morning person. By any stretch of the word. I would much rather stay awake until 3 a.m. to accomplish everything I need to than wake up at even 9 a.m. every day. I think we have all felt that before in our lives and especially those of you who can relate to not being a morning person. However, recently I have challenged myself to wake up earlier and try to become more of a morning person.

The key to this for me was my mindset. In the past when my alarm has gone off in the morning I have grumbled and hit the snooze button five times before dragging myself out of bed. This would subsequently cause a chain of reactions of 1. me waking up later than I wanted and thus in a rush 2. no time to be able to relax and fully wake up 3. stressed out about no time to properly go through my morning routine and 4. just have general stress about starting the day.

This nasty habit developed when I started college because I didn't have early classes so I fell into this stay up late and sleep until the last possible moment routine. In my experience it has not been a very productive or enjoyable routine to have. 

So how have I began my journey to try and turn this around? By simply giving myself a chance to be a morning person. I don't know that I will ever be as productive in the morning as I am at night however I do think that I can change the way I begin my days. 

The first step in doing this is waking up with a positive mind. When my alarm goes off I am trying to say one thing that I am excited for that day instead of grumbling about having to wake up at whatever God-awful hour it may be. For example if I have plans for the day I think about those plans and how excited I am about them.

The second step is to just get moving. I have read countless articles online that stress getting out of bed after your first alarm goes off because snoozing your alarm makes you more tired. To do this I just reason with myself. You all know you have those talks with yourself in the mornings that go a little like "You know you can totally lay here for 10 more minutes you know it is going to make you feel great" and then 10 minutes goes by and you feel like its only been 30 seconds. I have started telling myself the truth that 10 extra minutes laying here is not going to make me want to get out of bed more or feel more awake. 

The third step is to have a routine. I know this should probably be the first step for most people but for me just getting out of the bed on time and without snoozing deserves an Olympic gold metal. I think it is important to know how long you take to do things without rushing yourself. This is where your routine will come in handy. For instance, I know that I want to take my shower first before I do anything else because a warm shower helps me wake up my body and mind more and gives me time while in the shower to focus on becoming more alert. My routine in the mornings is normally a 8ish minute shower (depending on how long it takes me to wake up), 15 minutes to dry and style my hair, 15-20 minutes to do my makeup and get dressed, and I like to give myself at least 30 minutes to be able to eat breakfast and relax before I have to head out the door.

These little steps have helped me in just the little amount of time I have implemented them and it has helped me become a more joyful person in the mornings. I may still be grumpy when I wake up but by the time I need to leave my house I am excited for the day ahead, I'm in a relaxed mood because I didn't have to rush to get ready, and I am ready to tackle the day!

I hope these little tips can help those of you who may also not be morning people to at least start your day off on a better foot even if you still give side eye to those perky morning people!

Let me know if there is anything you do to help you be positive in the mornings!

xoxo Jess

huge life moments

Have you ever been through something that you thought would never end? I just recently finished my Masters degree and subsequently my thesis for my degree and it was by far one of the toughest experiences of my life. So many ups and downs happened during the past two years but also a lot of stress these past couple of months and now that it is over I can't shake that stressful feeling.

Have you ever had that feeling? I think anyone who has gone through something very stressful like this can relate. I am under this constant feeling of having a huge deadline that I need to complete work for but there isn't anything I have to complete. It is like a phantom feeling. Very weird experience.

Because of this I am now at a huge junction of my life. I have finished school and now have to decide where I want to live and what I want to try and do with my professional and personal life. The world is literally wide open to me and it is a very freeing but terrifying feeling.

I have so many things I want to accomplish in my lifetime and it is hard to figure out what the first step on this journey should be. I know at some point everyone has or will have this moment but I don't want to just sit back and stay in my comfort zone the rest of my life. I want to get out and see the world  and make mistakes and enjoy the rest of my twenties and my life.

What is something you want to see yourself doing in the next five years?

-xoxo Jess